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Mr. Mike

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Posted on Friday, August 04, 2000 - 1:59 am:   

Just thought I'd describe my visit to the generally highly-rated "Elegance Sex Club," a place where I enjoyed a fabulous time a couple of years ago. On my return visit, I found that prices have risen dramatically: 150 guilders to enter, and 500 guilders for the lady of your choice (one US dollar is equivalent to roughly 2.2 guilders). The club still has an excellent selection of attractive ladies, but I ended up choosing a very good-looking nightmare in the making named Jacqueline who repeatedly tried to induce me to purchase an expensive bottle of champagne during our hour of supposed intimacy! Only half-way through our session, she had the nerve to inquire about her tip! When I said wait until things were over, she stated that the present time would be preferable. I cannot believe I was dumb and/or pussy-whipped enough to fulfill her request--I guess I wanted to get the most out of our remaining 20 minutes...

On top of this, the management stuck us in a noisy room on the bottom floor right next to the entrance--the only room suffering from such a miserable location (the club is located in a lovely townhouse with very nice rooms). Also, the management had the nerve to ask me again for my entrance fee 5 minutes after I had already paid it! The entrance fee might actually only be 75 guilders, but they charge an extra 75 guilders if you take a cab, due to an extortion racquet operated by Amsterdam's cabbie union. Stupid me actually walked to the club, but the doorman assumed I'd taken a cab and charged me double. I didn't realize this until after I'd left... Never take a cab to an Amsterdam sex club, because YOU will pay for this extra 75 guilders. The doorman at Club Elegance failed to ask me how I had arrived, and I failed to remember to tell him. In sum, MY VISIT TO CLUB ELEGANCE WAS A NIGHTMARE! I strongly suggest exploring Amsterdam's abundance of cheaper, quality sex clubs!

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